Monday, 19 September 2011

This reminds me of my little angel up in heaven. We both miss you every day.

Ed Sheeran - Small Bump
You’re just a small bump unborn, in four months you’re brought to life. You might be left with my hair, but you’ll have your mother’s eyes. I’ll hold your body in my hands, be as gentle as I can. But for now you’re a scan of my unmade plans, a small bump in four months you brought to life
And I’ll whisper quietly and give you nothing but truth. If you’re not inside me, I’ll put my future in you.
You are my one and only, and you can wrap your fingers round my thumb.
And hold me tight, you are my one and only. You can wrap your fingers round my thumb, and hold me tight; and you’ll be alright
You’re just a small bump, I know you’ll grow into your skin. With a smile like hers and a dimple beneath your chin. Fingernails the size of a half grain of rice, and eyelids closed to be soon open wide. A small bump, in four months you’ll open your eyes.
And I’ll hold you tightly and tell you nothing but truth. If you’re not inside me, I’ll put my future in you.
You are my one and only, and you can wrap your fingers round my thumb .And hold me tight, you are my one and only. And you can wrap your fingers round my thumb, and hold me tight; and you’ll be alright.
Then you can lie with me, with your tiny feet. When you’re half asleep I’ll leave you be, right in front of me, for a couple weeks; so I can keep you safe.
‘Cos you are my one and only, you can wrap your fingers round my thumb. And hold me tight, you are my one and only. You can wrap your fingers round my thumb, and hold me tight, and you’ll be alright.
‘Cos you were just a small bump unborn for four months, then torn from life. Maybe you were needed up there but we’re still unaware as why.

Photo taken at 5 weeks.

Photo taken at 6 weeks and 2 days.

From the very beginning I loved you,
As I made plans to hold you and rock you:
You were tiny and helpless as you lay in my womb,
But something went wrong and soon you were gone;
My young heart was broken, my tears fell like rain,
I'd never known such heartache and pain.
I wonder who you look like, me or your dad,
Do you have my smile and his eyes?
Would you have been big and tall or tiny and small?
We had dreams for you that reached to the skies.
It was long, long ago and I still miss you so,
I never could of held you or told you goodbye but
I love you so and your heart knows why.

Wednesday, 7 September 2011

BORBA Healthy Gummy Bears

I have been tempted to by these BORBA Skin Balancing Gummi Bears. I can't tell if this is the biggest cutest scam in history or the most genius idea yet. The ingredent's are what follows...
Organic Tapioca Syrup, Organic Sugar, Organic Tapioca Syrup Solids, Supplement Blend, Pectin, Citric Acid, Natural Flavor, Black Carrot Juice Concentrate, Vitamin A, Vitamin C, Vitamin E, Vitamin B12
Now the only thing that throws me off is the ingredient "suppliment blend" that makes me think it's something not very good for you they want to hide.
This is the write up on the site your order them from:
Now made with 50% less sugar, but with the same great taste and beautifying skin care benefits!
These delectable gummi bear dietary supplements are the first mobile, surprisingly delicious skin care nutraceuticals designed to harness the positive effects of vitamins, minerals, and nutrients offered in BORBAformulations.
Roprietary Blend: botanical antioxidants that support cell health and defense against free radical damage.

Vitamins A-C-E: vitamins that help support healthy skin for your anti-aging regimen.

Vitamin B12: helps support cellular energy.
  • 100% vegetarian
  • Fat free
  • Preservative free.
  • Does not contain starch, corn, yeast, gluten, egg, wheat, dairy products, artificial preservatives, artificial flavors or colors.
What's your verdict, are this a good or bad idea?!

Tuesday, 30 August 2011

Devastated aren't the words.

Having 'the look' from my mum on results day was heart breaking. My face on results day was priceless. I'm proud of what I had got, I'm also proud that I had come out with an A.

What I am gutted about is that I didn't get the right grades to do what I wanted to do. I've got the right grades to carry on in a media course which isn't too bad and is what I will be doing. The biggest thing that I'm highly upset about is that I won't be carrying on my acting career. I have been acting all of my life in education and out of education and it's sad that I haven't been able to come out with what I can carry on in what I enjoy.
So here's to acting, to the people who helped me through all of the years with my confidence, thoughts and my ambition. How ever, I hope to still carry on acting outside of education. It's something I'm not going to give up on. Believe you and me!

Monday, 29 August 2011

Ano Hi Mita Hana no Namae o Bokutachi wa Mada Shiranai

Ano Hi Mita Hana no Namae o Bokutachi wa Mada Shiranai. "We Still Don't Know the Name of the Flower We Saw That Day."), also known as 'AnoHana' for short, is a 2011 Japanese anime television series produced by A-1 Pictures and directed by Tatsuyuki Nagai.

A group of six childhood friends drift apart after one of them, Meiko "Menma" Honma, dies in an accident. Several years after the incident, the leader of the group, Jinta Yadomi, has withdrawn from society and lives as a recluse. One summer day, an older looking Menma appears before him and asks to have a wish granted, though she does not remember what it is.

It's a brilliant anime with a heart warming tragedy. It will bring tears to your eyes and sadness to your heart leaving you thinking about life and friendship aswell as family. The manga book is especially brilliant aswell as the series. I highly recommend this if you are into Manga and Anime. You will love it!

New photo for you all that I’ve just taken.

New photo for you all that I’ve just taken <333

Dear mum,

Dear Mum, 
Having a mum like you while growing up was the greatest gift and biggest advantage anyone could ever have given me. It is because of the confidence and values that you gave me that made me who I am today. Thank you for shaping me into a person who I like and am proud to be. Thank you letting me believe that I could be whoever I wanted to be, do whatever I wanted to do, there were no limitations other than my drive, ambition and creativity.
Having you in my life through out my faults and achievements has been a literal life and sanity saver for me. If there was a book on how to be the perfect mum, it would have you as the role model.
Thank you for your support through out my journeys.
Thank you for taking me to hospital and sitting with me through all those hard times from when I was little to the times that was hard through this year. Thank you for always having hope for me when I didn’t have for myself.
Thank you for telling me not to give up when I said I couldn’t do it any more.
Thank you for never giving up on me when I went through that dark period, when I shut every one out of my life. When loving me must have been like trying to hold a cactus. Thank you for loving me through all of my rejections of help and love.
Thankyou for coming to the hospital with me when I had lost my little one and when you looked after me. Thank you for being there for me, when other people didn’t know what to do with me or for me when I was so raw with grief.
Thank you for being such a wonderful mum. Thank you for being so wonderful when your own childhood was so hard. I am sorry you never got to experience how wonderful it is to have a loving caring mum. Thank you for not allowing the cycle to repeat itself, it could have happened so easily.
Thank you thank you thank you. For a million things, for everything. I don’t know what I would do without you. There are so many many more things, small things, big things.
Thank you mum, I love you, more than words can ever express. xxxxxxxxxxxx